I have been having a running dialogue with a buddy of mine on another blog site. I've been sending him all the "Texanisms" I can come up with concerning folks of a certain ilk. (Excuse me for a moment while I go off on a tagent... Don't you just love that word ilk? If you've been paying attention - otherwise known as 'hanging on my every word', you'll have noticed that I've become fond of using that word lately. It's a great word. Become friends with it. Buddy up to it. You'll be glad you did. But I digress.)

Now back to the subject at hand:"Texanisms" describing folk of a certain ilk. I've sent my friend jewels like these:

• He's three bricks short of a load.
• Her bread's not baked in the middle.
• He's about a half-bubble off plumb.

And the one that started it all:

• His cheese done slipped off the cracker.

You'll surely be happy to know that after extensive research - and when I say "extensive research, I mean I stumbled upon a book called Redneck Words of Wisdom in a gift store in Austin yesterday, for which I paid the paltry sum of $12.95 + tax - I have discovered additional colloquialisms to impart to y'all.

Now, I know there may be those of you out there in other Southern states who would like to lay claim to some of these colorful sayings. But, to you I say, NAY. What I am about to relate to you will be known as "Texanisms." Here are my reasons, which I am sure you will find to be of great merit.

1. This is my blog.
2. I bought the book.
3. Because I said so.

Any questions? No? I didn't think so. Let's proceed, shall we?

In the "Folks of a Certain Ilk" category:

• She's a taco short of a combination plate.
• He's a few fries short of a Happy Meal.
• She's a few sandwiches short of a picnic.

Now, for my own personal favorites. These are all straight from my grandparents' mouths, so they aren't just Texanisms, they're Panhandle Texanisms!

• You'd better shut your mouth or I'll slap you into the middle of next week.
• She'll talk your head off and then holler own the hole.
• Don't make me whup you like a red-headed stepchild.
• You lie like a cheap rug.
• Don't let your alligator mouth get ahead of your hummingbird ass.
• I guess she told you how the cow ate the cabbage!

Well, that was fun. Now, I think I'll make like a baby and head out.

Another Amazing Before and After - Ramon Lopez

As promised, I have been posting examples of my digital scrapbook pages for the last several days. Some of the pages of which I'm the proudest have to be the ones I've done for my two friends who have had weight-loss surgery which COMPLETELY changed their lives. Today's post is about another one of those amazing people.

I met Ramon Lopez through my friend Debra (If you haven't read about her yet, see below - she's an inspiration.) Ramon, like Debra, has overcome so many really hard things in his life and his weight-loss surgery was just the last in a long line of many. Like Debra, Ramon's life is totally different now than it was before his surgery.

Having worked in the employment industry, I know the prejudices that exist against people who are overweight. If I told you how much ignorance and just plain stupidity there is among hiring authorities who have a prejudice against people who are overweight, you would be appalled. Without exception, my biggest challenge in staffing was in placing people who had every qualification yet didn't fit the idiotic notion that skinny and smart went hand-in-hand. I read somewhere that prejudice against overweight people is the last "acceptable" prejudice in our nation. Sad, but all too true.

You can read more about my friends Debra and Ramon (as well as their friend Yvonne) on their website:

www.rydobesity.com

Debra, Before and After

My friend, Debra

Debra and I have been friends for well over ten years. She is the kind of friend who could inspire the popular adage, "We will always be best friends; you know all my secrets." Debra and I are joined at the heart. Deb has gone through some incredible changes over the last several years. One of the most significant changes is that she has lost over one-hundred pounds; and she has kept it off for over four years. Her life is completely different now than it was before her weight-loss. She could have decided to simply enjoy her new life, but that's not who she is. Instead, she actively mentors others who are still on the road to achieving their weight-loss goal. She is very active in an organization called Obesity Help http://www.obesityhelp.com/ as a speaker and a conference organizer. I'm proud of my friend, proud enough that I want everyone to know about her strength, her determination and her courage.

Boys, boys, boys

I have started a scrapbooking business. I teach classes in traditional and digital scrapbooking. I also will be holding crops where you will be able to purchase traditional scrapbook supplies and/or spend your day working with other enthusiasts on your scrapbook pages. Or if you like, you can make use of my digital scrapbook software to make pages like the one to the left.

Over the next several days, I'll be displaying more of my digital pages on my blog, as well as finishing up my web site -The Storyteller's Nook. As soon as the web site is ready to go live, I'll post a link in my blog.

Until next time... happy scrapbooking!

The Many Faces of Olivia

My beautiful Olivia. She has a smile that can turn your world upside down and enough personality to share. Already at four years old, she is a brilliant conversationalist. She is absolutely fearless and has everyone in the family wrapped around her little finger. My shining star - my lovely granddaughter, Olivia Monet.

Death to Trojans

No, not that kind of Trojan. I'm talking the computer virus kind of Trojan. I just spent the last two hours since arriving at my son's apartment in Austin for a leisurely visit with him, trying to remove a malicious spyware program that he unwittingly installed at school (UT-Austin) this morning. It's one of those programs that disguises itself as an anti-virus program. It pops up with a very official-looking "Windows" icon and a dire warning that your computer is infected with 48 viruses and spyware programs, then gives the user the option of two buttons: one says "ignore threats" and the other says "remove threats." Of course, when you push the one that says "remove threats," it actually installs the trojan on your computer. It's a tough one, too.

It took me forever to get it uninstalled. I finally got it off with Windows Defender - thank God for some of Vista's new features. This one turned out to be a life-saver. Beware!

I Can't Stop Myself

Truly, there isn't much I can add to these pictures. They pretty much say it all. Further proof that a picture really is worth a thousand words.