As I watched The Ellen DeGeneres Show today, it became apparent to me that I have not been paying enough attention for the last… oh, quite a while. Ellen’s first guest today was my favorite lust object, Vince Vaughn. ***Major sigh***
Vince was there to plug his new movie, which comes out today, but also to talk about his newest and most adventurous role to date – fatherhood! Wait, what? Vince Vaughn has a baby? Then that must mean… gasp! … I listened in shocked silence as he gushed about his wife! His wife. He’s not only a daddy, he’s married. What hole have I been hiding in that I was not aware of this important bit of information?
As it turns out, this is very good news for my husband. I informed him today when he came home from work that he is no longer in danger of my leaving him to run off with Vince Vaughn. As you can imagine, he was hugely relieved. Now that Vince is out of the picture, I can safely say that I’ll be staying put. Vince is married and that’s that.
Of course, there is always Johnny Depp, but frankly, he’s just too bohemian for me. Yes, I do know that his bohemian bent is largely responsible for his incredible attractiveness, however, my primarily conservative nature would probably go on tilt with a full-time diet of Johnny Depp. I’m not saying that a short ride on the Depp train wouldn’t be a mighty nice diversion, but, well…
