In keeping with my philosophy that one cannot be oh-so-serious about life all the time, I would like to have a discussion about flame throwers. Yes. You read that right. Flame throwers. Not a subject that comes up too often in daily conversation, you say? Well, that's all the more reason to talk about it now, wouldn't you think? Let us proceed.
In the words of the inimitable George Carlin (man! I miss that guy!) "The very existence of flame throwers is proof that some time, somewhere, someone said to themselves, You know, I'd really like to set those people over there on fire, but I'm just not close enough to get the job done."
I have occasionally encountered folks that I might like to throw a little fire onto. But purchasing a conventional flame thrower isn't as easy as just waltzing into Wal-Mart, plunking your money down on the counter and walking out with your brand-spankin'-new, state-of-the-art flame thrower. Believe me, I've looked, and there is no flame thrower section in Wal-Mart, Target or even Academy. What's an angry woman to do in this case?
Well, never underestimate the ingenuity/stupidity of your basic, bored, inebriated 20-something hardy partier.
"Fire breathers" turn their own bodies into flamethrowers by pouring fuel (typically kerosene) into their mouth and holding an ignition system (typically a torch) in front of them. When they spit out the kerosene, the torch ignites it, creating a dazzling stream of fire (only professionals should attempt this -- it is extremely dangerous). The technique is definitely low-tech, but the operating principle is exactly the same as in the most expensive military flamethrowers!
Courtesy of howstuffworks.com
Seems like problem solved, doesn't it? Should be, but experienced "Fire breathers" never seem to be around when you need them. Dammit.
